A Love That Transcends Time: My Story of Miscarriage and Healing, and Remembering
Trigger Warning: This post discusses miscarriage and loss. If this is a tender subject for you, please take care of your heart as you read.
Some dates stay with you forever. The date of my miscarriage is etched into my soul, woven into the fabric of my being, impossible to forget. The 7th December 2007 is that day for me.
Seventeen years ago, my life changed in ways I could never have imagined. I was carrying not one but two precious souls. After months of struggle, heartache, and uncertainty, I finally allowed myself to believe that I would have everything I had ever dreamed of. The past had been difficult—my beloved Nan had passed away, and a traumatic event at her wake left me experiencing physical spasms, relentless and unexplainable, for ten months straight. But with the news of my pregnancy, my heart found hope. I had something to live for.
But life, as I would come to understand more deeply than ever before, had other plans.
I knew there was something wrong.
They say a mother knows, and I did. With the smallest sign, a whisper from within, I felt them slipping away. I called my obstetrician, and he told me to come in straight away. I still remember the quiet drive to his office, my hands gripping the wheel, my heart already knowing what my mind wasn’t ready to accept.
The scan confirmed my worst fear—there were no longer two tiny, beating hearts. Just silence. And with that silence, my world crumbled.
Miscarriage and the D&C that saved my life.
The next few hours moved in slow motion. I reached out to a dear friend who drove me to the hospital, my partner by my side, all of us caught in a moment of grief that felt too heavy to hold. My doctor rushed ahead, waiting for me when I arrived, knowing this was urgent. A small procedure, and then—just like that—they were gone. My body felt empty. My heart shattered.
The doctor told me afterwards that if I hadn’t been in the hospital, I might not have survived. There were complications, ones I couldn’t have foreseen. But I wasn’t alone that day—I know that. I saw Archangel Michael that day, and he urged me to seek help when I otherwise might have dismissed it. I believe I was protected, even in my deepest sorrow.
Grief and the Pain of Loss.
I cried for my babies, for the life that would never be. But somehow, in my grief, I found an understanding that softened the unbearable edges of loss. I knew that miscarriages, in their own way, are a part of the soul’s journey, a healing passage for those who are only meant to touch this world briefly. I chose to believe that I was of service to them—that I was meant to carry them, even if just for a little while.
That knowledge, however comforting, didn’t erase the pain. It didn’t fill the emptiness or stop the tears that would come in waves, unexpected and unrelenting. But it gave me purpose. It allowed me to shift my focus, not to erase my grief, but to choose how I carried it.
Refusing to let my miscarriage define my life.
On this day, instead of letting sorrow consume me, I choose to celebrate life. Today is my brother’s birthday. It is also the anniversary of my dear Aunty Coral’s passing. A day of loss, yes, but also a day of remembrance and love.
I rarely share this story. But today, I feel called to. Because I know I am not alone. Because there are other women who have walked this path, who carry this silent grief, who wonder if the world sees them as mothers when their arms remain empty.
To you, I see you. I honour you. I send you love because I know that we will never forget.
Not a day goes by that I don’t think of my children. They are with me in every moment, in every breath. Being spiritual, intuitive, and clairvoyant, I am blessed to feel them, to see glimpses of who they would have been, to receive their love in the smallest of signs. I know they are safe, wrapped in the arms of something greater than us, shining their light down from above.
Seventeen years ago, my world changed forever. But my love for them has never faded. And it never will.
To my beautiful children, I carry you in my heart. Always. 💜
I have been very blessed to have a spiritual drawing done of my twins, so I have a visual image of what they would look like. It is one of the reasons I am so grateful for my spiritual gifts and connections.
Healing Your Heart and Emotions
If you are still struggling with your loss and need some emotional healing, consider a Reiki Healing Session, Hypnosis or an Emotion Code Session to help you heal your grief.
