Healing Through Forgiveness: A Journey to Self-Love
The Harsh Reality of Holding onto Anger
One of the hardest lessons I’ve ever had to learn is that anger toward another person doesn’t just hurt you—it eats away at your soul and wreaks havoc on your body. A tough lesson that I didn’t learn quickly enough, and holding onto negativity for years came at a great cost. I never understood the power of forgiveness.
It arose from a difficult relationship with my mother. She would often berate me, tell me I wasn’t good enough, and even say that I ruined her life. For years, I endured this verbal abuse, internalising her words. Up until I was 30 years old when I finally decided I’d had enough. But even then, I didn’t truly deal with the emotions I’d been carrying.
Emotional Burdens take a Physical Toll
Throughout my 30s, I started experiencing severe menstrual problems, including heavy periods caused by a fibroid in my uterus. I underwent numerous medical procedures, from curettage to laparoscopies, all aimed at managing the symptoms. However, my health continued to spiral. Not only did I suffer a miscarriage, but I also developed a blood clot in my lungs. Eventually, I underwent a hysterectomy due to uncontrollable haemorrhaging caused by the fibroid.
The day before my surgery, a psychic asked me a life-changing question: “Why are you so angry?” For the first time, I had to face the truth. I was furious about the way my mother had treated me—about not being loved, not being wanted, and never feeling good enough. That’s when I realised that this anger had festered within me, manifesting as physical illness and robbing me of the one thing I’d always dreamed of: having a family of my own.
Searching for Answers
After the surgery, I embarked on a quest for healing. I read countless books, sought out spiritual teachers, and explored practices like Reiki, crystal healing, and soul work. Blaming myself for what had happened, and feeling trapped in a cycle of anger and self-loathing. So I asked, “Why did this happen to me?” and “What did I do to deserve this?”
It wasn’t until I read Louise L. Hay’s book You Can Heal Your Life that I began to uncover the connection between my unresolved anger and my physical health. I realised I had to address the root cause, not just the symptoms.
The Answer Is Forgiveness
The turning point came when I heard a story at a spiritual church: The Little Soul and the Sun by Neale Donald Walsch. This story, about a soul’s journey to Earth to learn forgiveness, resonated deeply with me and led me to explore Walsch’s Conversations with God series.
Through these teachings, I understood that forgiveness isn’t just about letting go of anger toward someone who’s hurt you. The most crucial step is forgiving yourself—for the pain you’ve carried, the lessons you chose to learn, and the ways you’ve struggled to let go. Forgiving myself was the hardest but most transformative step in my healing journey.
Forgiveness and the Power of Ho’oponopono
One practice that significantly deepened my healing journey was Ho’oponopono, a Hawaiian method of reconciliation and forgiveness. This simple yet powerful technique uses four key phrases: “I’m sorry,” “Please forgive me,” “Thank you,” and “I love you.” Repeating these mantras and listening to the meditation cleared negative energy and fostered inner peace. Ho’oponopono taught me that forgiveness begins within and that healing starts when we take responsibility for our emotions, regardless of external circumstances. It became a daily ritual, helping me release old wounds and create space for love and light to enter my life.
The Power of Forgiveness and Self-Love
Forgiving myself allowed me to release the past and truly heal. I started telling myself, “I love you,” every day. At first, it felt impossible, but after three and a half years, I realised that I genuinely did love myself. Self-love became the foundation for a healthier, happier life.
Releasing the trauma lifted a massive weight from my soul. It raised my vibration and opened the door to creating the life I had always dreamed of. Forgiveness gave me the freedom to move forward with clarity and purpose.
A Message for You
If you’re carrying anger, resentment, or pain from your past, know that you have the power to release it. Forgiveness—especially self-forgiveness—is the key to healing. By letting go, you can free yourself from the emotional burdens holding you back and step into a life of joy, love, and possibility.
You deserve to live a life unburdened by the past. Take the first step toward healing and discover the incredible strength within you. You are worthy of love, happiness, and the beautiful future that awaits you.